Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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