she was so not down for the gang bang
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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