I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
