Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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