so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
