i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
