He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
