So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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