I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
