either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
