i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
