She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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