wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
