I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
