you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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