epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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