Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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