The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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