What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
