Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
