he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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