covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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