sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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