Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
