Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
