He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
