I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
