She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i think i just lost a toe
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
