so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
