all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
