Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
