So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
