3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
