So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize