So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
