But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize