I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
