My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize