Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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