once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
