i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
