the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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