you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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