with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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