I just saw a hot homeless man
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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