I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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