You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
