She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
