We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
