my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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