Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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