How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
A+ Viking dick
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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