Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Fuck me I smell like cheese
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
