I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
