Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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