bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
whose ass print is on the piano?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
