Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
did i just pee glitter
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
