I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
how drunk are you?
Several
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
