worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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