You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
