I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
