he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
