when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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