Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize