no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize