i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize